I got an email the other day, and that was the gist of it: “I got a stinking accountability partner, NOW WHAT?”
OK, maybe I deserved that, But I really didn’t think I put forth the feeling that it was in the act of finding an AP that would magically solve all your problems, but hey maybe…. But really its in the USING of an accountability partner that things start to change. But remember an AP is only as good as YOU allow them to be.
For example, if I tell my AP that I have a bad habit of staying up too late on Sunday nights watching the end of “the game” and that makes me late every monody morning during the season (notice no ment6iuon of WHAT season. If he see’s me online late Sunday night and asks what I’m doing and I answer “watching the game” I have to give him full rights and authority to have an offensive posture towards me the next time he interacts with me. Whether he wants to call me right then and there, or wait until the following morning and I’m on my 3rd cup of coffee, he cant be intimidated by me into NOT being honest!
More importantly, its NOT my RIGHT to reply back something uniquely intelligent like, “OH YEAH, well YOUR socks don’t match…your belt!” Because first off, that’s just not cool, and secondly, really should you be noticing that? No, no you shouldn’t, and trust me the first time you ‘retaliate’ to you AP is the LAST time you will be speaking to that particular partner.
Remember the idea behind having someone who will help you with your accountability is that its a ‘no fault zone’ Unless someone asks for brutality, you need to be able to take some tact, but you also have toe be as up front, and non judgmental for them as you want them to be for YOU! Only in that way is ANYONE going to actually move forward enough for you to make the breakthroughs that you know your capable of becoming!
SO, set yourself some time aside, tell your wife of SI its only going to be an hour or so, but make sure YOUR calendar is clear for a few hours, remember you are going to open up to THEM, but you have to make room for them to open up to YOU. SO many times you will find one personality so much stronger than the other that it just tends to dominate the meetings. But that’s not what were here for, we are here to learn to give and to take. As well as to be reminded of whats important and how we are going to carry through and walk on through the obstacles, yes, we’ll get a little scratched up and maybe even scarred, but that’s OK, that’s where were going!
Or you could just pick an excuse, any excuse, just make it a good one, after all you’re going to have to live with it for the rest of your life…