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Mar 04

…Now that’s the easy part.

No whining, no crying and certainly no moaning, groaning or complaining, and when it comes to making up an excuse, well by now you should know better. So what does that leave? What else is there? That’s actually pretty simple, and if my five year old can understand it in less than a week, I would certainly think that someone as intelligent as you are should be able to handle it. Brace yourself, here it comes:

Ask yourself, before you do, think or say something, “Will this get me one step closer to my goal or one step farther? The worst of course is if it doesn’t have any effect at all, if you find yourself in that situation you must understand that what you are doing is a COMPLETE and total waste of time and energy so STOP IT.

Ahem, ok. Actually there is one more option and this option is typically at the root of why most children resort to the whining crying etc. They do that because in their limited life experience they can not fathom a singe rational way out of the situation, but they know that if they sit in one place long enough and cry hard enough SOMEONE (like mom or dad) will eventually come up, give them a kiss and ‘make everything all right.’ After all isn’t that what they really wanted in the first place? Most kids don’t want to figure out how to solve something they just want it fixed and NOW.

But if you are past the age of 8 or a girl past 12, you’re absolutely NOT allowed to use that mindset, and if you do, and I am present I will in fact all you out in it. Far too0 many kids in America today have had Mom and Dad hand them everything all their lives, and many figure that just because they have moved out from under your roof, that you as their parents should still be under obligation to run in and ‘fix things’ for them. Please if you get one of these calls from your children, do what my dad did. Carefully explain that even in the Bible we are taught that to teach a man to fish is far better than to give him fish sticks. So you can give those ideas of what to do, but nothing more. Then hang up and if you have time, move!

But I digress, because what we are here looking for is what you are going to do when you are faced with that big scary thing, that you just don’t know if you can handle in your own life. The answer is of course you can, you just need to learn how to deal with it, and in so doing how to avoid these situations later in life. As I have mentioned the first step is to ask yourself if what you are currently doing is getting you closer to your goal or farther from it.  If your answer is anything other than, moving me closer, than stop what you’re doing and find something new to do.

Oh I know, “That’s EASY for you to say you don’t have…” a bad job, too little money, and upside down mortgage, a house worth less than ½ of what you owe, a sick child, a letter from the IRS. Have I missed anything? Because yes if your situation falls anywhere in that group (or close) than yes actually I have been where you are.

SO what would I suggest you do? Well in the words of a great leader, “Suck it up buttercup!” O.K. maybe not a great leader, but she did have a way with words eh? But that does sum up the beginning. Allow yourself the momentary breakdown or shock of the surprise, and then get hold of yourself. You can’t accomplish ANYTHING if you’re a mess. Once you have control, look around you, look at your situation and as yourself, is THIS the worst it could actually be? For example, you’ve just gotten that letter from the bank, the one that says that the last deposit you made contained some “issues” and now your account is dramatically overdrawn. Now by dramatically I’M not talking 100’s of thousands of dollars, for that they normally call. But your negative $500 and your still a week away from payday, what do you do?

First thing, give thanks to whatever being you have belief in, that it is not worse. Really I mean I know that this may seem hokey, but I pass at least a dozen “men” every day that have already died, their bodies just haven’t caught up with the Those are the guys walking around the convenience store parking lot always looking down. They aren’t looking at their shoes; they are actually looking for a cigarette butt that has even the tiniest leaf of tobacco in it. See it COULD be worse!

“But J”, you say, “That could NEVER be me.” Oh yeah? You think those guys woke up one day and said you know I thin today, the coldest day in Michigan History I’m going to become homeless? Chances are that’s not exactly how it happened. Chances are better that it was a long slow slide downward through a whole series of bad ideas and mistakes. So, as bad as it ism it COULD be worse. Be thankful that its not. NOW grab a calendar and look and see what else may be due (power, water etc) between now and when you get paid. If the answer to THAT question is NOTHING, than man you are skating on easy street!

Now, check the fridge, got food to make it? Yes, great your set, no? Ok, let’s look at our alternatives. Look in the pantry, check everywhere that you have food that you can remember. Got a deep freeze? How about that Fish from last year’s lake excursion? Have Shelf Stable meal boxes? Those are great.  Do you have coupons or “freebies” or company dinners coming up this week, maybe a “lunch and learn” does mom live close? I’ll bet she would feed you for a night if you came and visited. All of these so far are assuming that you are single.

If you are married, or better, married with children, YOUR #1 fear is having to tell your wife and or kids. Well let me save you 1.2 the worry, the kids don’t need to know. They are flexible and if you have hotdogs and mac and cheese 3 nights in a row they will just think you’re a great dad. Your wife is a different story. Because you my friend have to get over years, and maybe even decades of “I told you so’s” or “How could you” or whatever your perceived hang up may be. Remember, she is your wife and you guys did make some promises to each other. Even if you have been a lousy husband up to now, you my friend have a great opportunity to make some changes.

 

How you ask? Well you can come back next time.

Better yet, lets hear YOUR side of the story? Hit comments below

Or pick any old excuse, ones as good as any other…