Mar 04

…Now that’s the easy part.

No whining, no crying and certainly no moaning, groaning or complaining, and when it comes to making up an excuse, well by now you should know better. So what does that leave? What else is there? That’s actually pretty simple, and if my five year old can understand it in less than a week, I would certainly think that someone as intelligent as you are should be able to handle it. Brace yourself, here it comes:

Ask yourself, before you do, think or say something, “Will this get me one step closer to my goal or one step farther? The worst of course is if it doesn’t have any effect at all, if you find yourself in that situation you must understand that what you are doing is a COMPLETE and total waste of time and energy so STOP IT.

Ahem, ok. Actually there is one more option and this option is typically at the root of why most children resort to the whining crying etc. They do that because in their limited life experience they can not fathom a singe rational way out of the situation, but they know that if they sit in one place long enough and cry hard enough SOMEONE (like mom or dad) will eventually come up, give them a kiss and ‘make everything all right.’ After all isn’t that what they really wanted in the first place? Most kids don’t want to figure out how to solve something they just want it fixed and NOW.

But if you are past the age of 8 or a girl past 12, you’re absolutely NOT allowed to use that mindset, and if you do, and I am present I will in fact all you out in it. Far too0 many kids in America today have had Mom and Dad hand them everything all their lives, and many figure that just because they have moved out from under your roof, that you as their parents should still be under obligation to run in and ‘fix things’ for them. Please if you get one of these calls from your children, do what my dad did. Carefully explain that even in the Bible we are taught that to teach a man to fish is far better than to give him fish sticks. So you can give those ideas of what to do, but nothing more. Then hang up and if you have time, move!

But I digress, because what we are here looking for is what you are going to do when you are faced with that big scary thing, that you just don’t know if you can handle in your own life. The answer is of course you can, you just need to learn how to deal with it, and in so doing how to avoid these situations later in life. As I have mentioned the first step is to ask yourself if what you are currently doing is getting you closer to your goal or farther from it.  If your answer is anything other than, moving me closer, than stop what you’re doing and find something new to do.

Oh I know, “That’s EASY for you to say you don’t have…” a bad job, too little money, and upside down mortgage, a house worth less than ½ of what you owe, a sick child, a letter from the IRS. Have I missed anything? Because yes if your situation falls anywhere in that group (or close) than yes actually I have been where you are.

SO what would I suggest you do? Well in the words of a great leader, “Suck it up buttercup!” O.K. maybe not a great leader, but she did have a way with words eh? But that does sum up the beginning. Allow yourself the momentary breakdown or shock of the surprise, and then get hold of yourself. You can’t accomplish ANYTHING if you’re a mess. Once you have control, look around you, look at your situation and as yourself, is THIS the worst it could actually be? For example, you’ve just gotten that letter from the bank, the one that says that the last deposit you made contained some “issues” and now your account is dramatically overdrawn. Now by dramatically I’M not talking 100’s of thousands of dollars, for that they normally call. But your negative $500 and your still a week away from payday, what do you do?

First thing, give thanks to whatever being you have belief in, that it is not worse. Really I mean I know that this may seem hokey, but I pass at least a dozen “men” every day that have already died, their bodies just haven’t caught up with the Those are the guys walking around the convenience store parking lot always looking down. They aren’t looking at their shoes; they are actually looking for a cigarette butt that has even the tiniest leaf of tobacco in it. See it COULD be worse!

“But J”, you say, “That could NEVER be me.” Oh yeah? You think those guys woke up one day and said you know I thin today, the coldest day in Michigan History I’m going to become homeless? Chances are that’s not exactly how it happened. Chances are better that it was a long slow slide downward through a whole series of bad ideas and mistakes. So, as bad as it ism it COULD be worse. Be thankful that its not. NOW grab a calendar and look and see what else may be due (power, water etc) between now and when you get paid. If the answer to THAT question is NOTHING, than man you are skating on easy street!

Now, check the fridge, got food to make it? Yes, great your set, no? Ok, let’s look at our alternatives. Look in the pantry, check everywhere that you have food that you can remember. Got a deep freeze? How about that Fish from last year’s lake excursion? Have Shelf Stable meal boxes? Those are great.  Do you have coupons or “freebies” or company dinners coming up this week, maybe a “lunch and learn” does mom live close? I’ll bet she would feed you for a night if you came and visited. All of these so far are assuming that you are single.

If you are married, or better, married with children, YOUR #1 fear is having to tell your wife and or kids. Well let me save you 1.2 the worry, the kids don’t need to know. They are flexible and if you have hotdogs and mac and cheese 3 nights in a row they will just think you’re a great dad. Your wife is a different story. Because you my friend have to get over years, and maybe even decades of “I told you so’s” or “How could you” or whatever your perceived hang up may be. Remember, she is your wife and you guys did make some promises to each other. Even if you have been a lousy husband up to now, you my friend have a great opportunity to make some changes.

 

How you ask? Well you can come back next time.

Better yet, lets hear YOUR side of the story? Hit comments below

Or pick any old excuse, ones as good as any other…

 

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Feb 28

Well than what ELSE is there?

After all the way I’ve made it sound having an excuse, even a “valid” one is a really bad idea, as a matter of fact some folks, based just on my previous descriptions may have decided that having excuses will warp you spine, deteriorate your mind, cause your hair to turn loose and your pants to get tight, and those are just the good points! In reflection, I would say that if you are over the age of 12, that’s probably a pretty accurate statement. After all, for many folks in the US the alternative to making progress is to stick their head in the sand and hope that ‘someone’, anyone, will make the decision for them.

Just so long as that someone is not, an overly large government, or a not-deservedly wealthy business owner, or anyone else that they would rather protest against than ever accept assistance from. Unless of course it was free and came with no strings attached, in which case they will accept help from just about anyone. Once they have reached this point most folks are so far underwater that they will accept help from almost anyone anytime, just so long as they can then turn around and point a finger at that person/government/entity and blame them for all of life’s woes.

Again, as long as you are under the legal driving age in any of the 50 states you are more than welcome to try the above options. However, anyone past that point, or wishing to be considered something along the lines of an ADULT I recommend that you shut up and stop whining. No one wants to hear it, and to be honest, no one really cares! Oh yes we all have those “sponges” in our lives who will ‘soak up; anything and everything we so wish to dumb on then at any given time. Of course like any good sponge, they must be “wrung out” on occasion at which point you will not only get flooded with all of your own negativity but all the whining that they have learned from everyone else in their lives.

By the way, you can probably guess this already, but I don’t even tolerate a lot of whining from my 5 year old. After all he wants to be treated like a “big boy” he needs to learn to act like one. Now don’t think that I’m one of those tyrants who berates his child every time he sheds a tear when he skins his knee. He broke his leg last month, after his mom did all the “cooing and soothing” that mothers should all be good at, I came in and explained that it was OK to cry, after all it was a natural reaction to what was happening. The broken leg was God’s way of telling him not to “do that again.” and the pain was a simple reaction to the swelling that was going on in an effort for his leg to heal.

I’m sure he stopped listening after “it’s OK to cry, it’s supposed to feel that way.” However the one thing that I will NOT allow is the ‘crying’ that occurs when he knows he has been caught doing something wrong. THAT is not to be tolerated. After all in his case it’s a multifold attempt distract the discipline and make mom and dad feel so bad as to not exercise said discipline.

So what SHOULD I do? No whining, no crying, com moaning, groaning or complaining? Then WHAT?

 

For that you’ll have to check back!

 

Or just choose one, anyone…www.any-excuse.com

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Feb 22

Then there was Jim

So, just like the loyal entrepreneur I was I dutifully called Jim back on Wednesday of the following week. He was with a client, but his secretary sent me through to his voicemail.  Not wanting to seem like a pest I waited, and when there was no response by the following Monday, I called him again. Once again “Stephanie” answered, and asked me to leave a message, not only did I leave one with her, but another voicemail as well. Jim wasn’t my only client, but I did want to work with him, and like most entrepreneur’s I had been taught that persistency was the key.

Jim went into the weekly call back file for a month, then the bi-weekly, finally a letter, yes good old USPS, explaining that I had another opportunity on the horizon, and if he didn’t hear from me for a few months, to call me. Almost immediately my phone rang. Jim apologized for all the distractions but promised that once he had this next system established he would have all the free time in the world. So, having learned from my time with Phil, I asked him to give me a call when he was done with that system and I’d see what I could do to meet with him.

Apparently that was all the encouragement he needed because his lunch calendar opened up that week. So we met, I outlined my plans for him, he was VERY excited and could definitely see the potential, “But ya know the boy”, his oldest was 7, “just started football, so my weekends will be tied up for most of the fall (this was August), so he asked if I would call him late November. December one I rang his office and was told about all the relatives coming in for the Holidays, and well after the first of the year would be much better. “After all, everyone wants to start their new year off right.”

January 15th, hey I have a life to, I rang him, and “the boy, had just started spring training, and was looking real good.” Now I know we live in the south, but spring training in January? Ok, I’ll check back, at which point he was planning on “seeing America while the kids are still young.” After which, “the boy” was back at football camp, and wouldn’t you know, his little brother (now 6) thought it looked like so much fun, he joined up.

You can probably see what’s coming, but football season led to the holidays which went into spring training, then summer vacation and we were back at football camp. Last year I got an invitation to his youngest son’s graduation party, High School. They had just spent the year traveling to pick out his school, he did get a football scholarship, as did his brother before him. During the party Jim’s wife said, “You know I really wish you and Jimmy had started that business together, he has zero time at home.” So I thought I’d call him, after the boy got settled in his new school.

His wife was very upset, “You won’t believe it, Jimmy was on his way home from the office late one night, it was raining, and he was tired. Of course he insisted on riding that motorcycle and wouldn’t let me come get him.” To make a long story short, the bike was totaled and although Jim’s injuries didn’t appear life threatening, he was having issues talking. I don’t know that they ever figured out everything that happened, if they did, the family is respecting his privacy by keeping quiet, but he will see you at the gas station in the morning and by lunch, forgotten that he’s seen you this year.

His wife is very frustrated, not just with his current situation, after all she was wise enough to begin her own business when the kids were starting school, so their income was secure. But she looks at, in her words, “all the time he wasted.” Apparently, although his kids were in sports, and excelled, he wasn’t quite the ‘football’ dad he led on. Again , it doesn’t matter what was really happening, but now when his wife had looked forward to some peace and quite, and they are both still under 50, they wanted to travel. But Jim can’t drive anymore, the story I heard was that while taking his eye test at the Drivers office he forgot what he was doing and went home.

I read the other day “Any God that is small enough for me to understand is too small to do the Job”, so I don’t pretend to understand the why of things, all I know is that the opportunity that we discussed is still valid and available. Unfortunately, the Jim that could fulfill half the responsibilities needed to bring the idea to fruition is no longer available. Oh he wants to, he even has that spark in his eyes, the same spark he had the day this all started, for about 5 minutes at a time. Then he’s moved on to another subject, and unfortunately completely forgotten what we were talking about.

Obviously, this is an extreme example, I would hope that no one ever has to go through anything like this ever again, but what I have learned in 40+ years on this planet is that if one person has experienced something, it is available for everyone, both good and bad. So in the end, over the course of quite a few years, it all came together, what Phil was trying to teach me, in that Denny’s in another city, about a different business, in what almost seems like someone else’s lifetime. It doesn’t matter what excuse you’re going to use, if you’re going to use an excuse pick one that you like and just stick with it, whether it makes sense or not. If you’re not, brave enough, bold enough, <insert phrase here> enough to admit that you’re not going to do what’s being asked, just pick one excuse that YOU like, and when asked use THAT ONE.

At least then, the folks around you, the one’s wanting to help you. The folks who think more about you, than maybe you do, will know, send a courtesy card, but don’t waste your time. He’s not coming along! Again, in Jim’s case, he was working in a family owned business, that “can’t” fire him (at least as long as granny’s alive.” His wife was savvy enough to jump on a business ‘deal’ that actually has turned out to be one, so she has setup the family for some stability, but there may always be a part of Jim that says , “If only I.”

So, find an excuse that works and get ready to live out your years of unfulfilled dreams, or decide that you’re going to make a difference, you going to do the one thing that no one else can do for you.

You didn’t REALLY think I was going to tell you what THAT is do you? After all, any excuse will do. So pick one, or better yet, maybe check back next time and see what it is that you CAN do to make a difference, a big enough difference to matter in your life, your families future. Get ready.

Remember, if your going to pick an excuse and live with it, than make it a WHOPPER!

Or, any-excuse.com

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Feb 17

NOT so much the HOW as the WHY?

Last time I walked you through a meeting where my mentor and business hero “Phil” had basically just tossed “the baby out with the bathwater” in reference to someone who wanted to do business with him. Now Phil did go on to explain a little more about his history with Andrew, but je also taught me something else that I think we ALL should step back and take a look at, as Entrepreneurs we are trained to say ‘yes’ to everything. A smart businessman, one who values his time and his relationships and all the things that are supposed to make owning a business worth while, is one who examines his ‘opportunity costs’ for a particular situation and THEN makes a decision what he’s going to do with it.

Take Jim for instance, Jim was a very intelligent, fast thinking and faster talking IT guy who really wanted to make a difference in the company that he worked for, since it was family owned, his family, he had a vested interest. But for some reason “things” seemed to always happen, and for the life of me, as an outsider, I couldn’t see what the cause was or why they seemed to be happening to him. So one day while on a trip he turned to me and said, “You know if I could just find someone to do “X” I’ll bet we could make a whole lot of money doing X+10.”

Now what the X’s are isn’t really the point (as you will see in time), but I too wanted to find someone to perform “X” for me too. So here I thought I had a kindred spirit, one with whom a great deal of business could be done and a lot of good could really happen, then I learned the Lesson Phil tried to teach me. See in most business deals where you come to me and want to work together I will assign you several tasks and as soon as you accomplish those tasks I will understand YOUR seriousness to commitment and will gauge my next move from there. Somehow, Jim got past my shields; he slipped under my radar, probably with the great big smile and that booming voice.

Be that as it may, his company was in the middle of taking over another city so he would be “swamped” for a few weeks, but call in September for a meeting and let’s get going. So second week of the month I gave him a call setup a lunch appointment and offered to drop by his office and pick him up (mistake #1), I walk in and the place looks like downtown Beirut, phones ringing everywhere, faxes flying off the printers, alarms sounding, “hey you mind if we meet here, I’ll close my office door.” Since it was obvious he was in the midst of it, I agreed to sit (mistake#2). Two hours later, I was still sitting, finally my pager went off, reminding me of another appointment so I excused myself, telling him I would call back to reschedule (mistake#3).

So far I have highlighted MY mistakes, and a free Bozo button to the first reader who tells me WHY they were mistakes and how they could have been handled better. Next time I’ll start with that, and then tell you the ENTIRE lesson that I should have learned from Phil a few months earlier.

DO you KNOW a “Jim”? Are YOU a “Jim” What would you do if “Jim” wanted to do business with you SO BAD and you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that what you had to offer could positively CHANGE HIS LIFE?

 

Let me know below…

Until then, remember: any excuse will do…

 

www.Any-Excuse.com

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Feb 15

Any excuse will do, just pick ONE!

I was trying to do business with one of the smartest, wealthiest and most well established business builders that I had ever had the pleasure to meet, when one night he invited me to a business meeting that he was having with someone else, who also wanted to do business with him. Now Phil, the gentleman I wanted to work with, was extremely intelligent, a very fast talker and had incredible amounts of energy. But he was looking to expand his business into other parts of the state, and areas where I had contacts he didn’t. I thought this made us a great match.

On the way to this other meeting, with Andrew, Phil explained that he had approached Andrew about working together because Andrew had many, many contacts in an industry that Phil didn’t, and Phil hoped to leverage that into helping the customers, Andrew and himself. But Phil also explained that every time Andrew was asked to do something, something that could really set the ‘ball in motion’; he seemed to have some other issue that had arisen. Phil thought that tonight’s meeting was time for Andrew to “poop or get off the pot.”

To this day I don’t think I have ever heard Phil curse in any form or fashion and although he is younger than I am, this also seems to lend him a great age and seeming wisdom. His response is that its just forced him to be more creative in the words he uses.

So we pulled into a restaurant, this was to be a dinner meeting, and Phil made introductions all around, and we sat down and ordered. Nothing about business had been said, nothing had also been mentioned about who I was or why I was there. For all Andrew knew I was Phil’s accountant.

Finally as the desserts were brought and Phil’s sliced into his pie, he looked up at Andrew and said, “So Andrew, how did the meeting with Joe go?” Phil had explained to me before we had arrived that Joe was an established leader in Andrews’s area of expertise and Phil had asked him to meet with him and lay some ground work before the three of them started negotiations.

Andrew started to look a little uncomfortable and started his response with, “You know Phil I was just about to ask Joe to meet with me when…” Suddenly Phil did something I had never seen him do, up to that time, he interrupted someone speaking. “Your dog got sick, right?” Phil said, straight faced. Andrew’s eye’s few open and he said,” No, actually Angie went into Liver Failure.” Phil turned to me and said, “Angie is the cat.”

Doing my best NOT to laugh, I instead coughed into my napkin, when Andrew spoke up and said, “But Phil, HOW could you have known that?”

Phil, looking deadpan and staring straight ito Andrews eyes simply said, “Andrew, just pick one and stick to it, it’s much, much easier, look here’s a card, all the “reasons” have numbers, just pick one and shout it out next time. Phil then got up, grabbed the check and motioned for me to follow him…

WHY would he do THAT I thought? You too? Well check back later and find out why…

If you thinnk you KNOW why, send me a comment, if you’ve ever BEEN in this situatiioon, I’d like to hear that as well!

www.any-excuse.com

Either way Le me know your situation!

 

 

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Nov 30

Well than what ELSE is there?

After all the way I’ve made it sound having an excuse, even a “valid” one is a really bad idea, as a matter of fact some folks, based just on my previous descriptions may have decided that having excuses will warp you spine, deteriorate your mind, cause your hair to turn loose and your pants to get tight, and those are just the good points! In reflection, I would say that if you are over the age of 12, that’s probably a pretty accurate statement. After all, for many folks in the US the alternative to making progress is to stick their head in the sand and hope that ‘someone’, anyone, will make the decision for them.

Just so long as that someone is not, an overly large government, or a not-deservedly wealthy business owner, or anyone else that they would rather protest against than ever accept assistance from. Unless of course it was free and came with no strings attached, in which case they will accept help from just about anyone. Once they have reached this point most folks are so far underwater that they will accept help from almost anyone anytime, just so long as they can then turn around and point a finger at that person/government/entity and blame them for all of life’s woes.

Again, as long as you are under the legal driving age in any of the 50 states you are more than welcome to try the above options. However, anyone past that point, or wishing to be considered something along the lines of an ADULT I recommend that you shut up and stop whining. No one wants to hear it, and to be honest, no one really cares! Oh yes we all have those “sponges” in our lives who will ‘soak up; anything and everything we so wish to dumb on then at any given time. Of course like any good sponge, they must be “wrung out” on occasion at which point you will not only get flooded with all of your own negativity but all the whining that they have learned from everyone else in their lives.

By the way, you can probably guess this already, but I don’t even tolerate a lot of whining from my 5 year old. After all he wants to be treated like a “big boy” he needs to learn to act like one. Now don’t think that I’m one of those tyrants who berates his child every time he sheds a tear when he skins his knee. He broke his leg last month, after his mom did all the “cooing and soothing” that mothers should all be good at, I came in and explained that it was OK to cry, after all it was a natural reaction to what was happening. The broken leg was God’s way of telling him not to “do that again.” and the pain was a simple reaction to the swelling that was going on in an effort for his leg to heal.

I’m sure he stopped listening after “it’s OK to cry, it’s supposed to feel that way.” However the one thing that I will NOT allow is the ‘crying’ that occurs when he knows he has been caught doing something wrong. THAT is not to be tolerated. After all in his case it’s a multifold attempt distract the discipline and make mom and dad feel so bad as to not exercise said discipline.

So what SHOULD I do? No whining, no crying, com moaning, groaning or complaining? Then WHAT?

For that you’ll have to check back!

been in this situation? What did YOU do? Lets hear about it, I’ll keep it a secret if I need to….

Or just choose one, anyone…www.any-excuse.com

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